Underwear with a Built-In Penis

Like a sandwich shop that promises foot-long subs, but serves up 4-inch hogies, this underwear designed by Andrew Christan is the false advertising that promises nothing but disappointment.

Like a padded bra for men's crotches, these stuffed shorts suggest a bountiful package, but wind up proving that sometimes little things come in big packages. Before buying these, ask yourself: "Do I want to appear to have a throbbing erection while giving a presentation in front of a large group of people? Do I want relive the middle school days of constantly having a boner? Is my penis too small to believe?" 

So, who buys this crap?

• Erotic dancers who perform outdoors and above the Arctic Circle.
• Life-sized Ken Dolls
• People who want to appear like they have an erection while changing clothes at the gym.
• Men with small penises.
• Men with ridiculously small penises.
• Farmers who had their junk caught in a thresher, but still want to look they have a boner when wearing their overalls.
• Women who have discovered the only way to keep creepy men from grinding on them at the club, is to give those men a taste of their own medicine.
• Speedo models.
• Horribly insecure fashion designers named Andrew Christan.  
• Douchebags.