Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Taxidermy College

Your parents have been bugging you about grad school, and complaining about the couch fort you've created in their living room to live in. They need to face it - you're not going law school. You just don't do much homework, and you drink too much Four Loco to make it to class daily. You're tired of their comments, criticisms, and complaints about the growing roadkill collection you've stashed in their deep freeze. Stop stressing loser, the stars have aligned.

A career in taxidermy could be your path in life, and this eight-week course at Montana School of Taxidermy and Tanning will give you the skills to justify converting your parents' boat house into your workshop. For the price of the Star Wars action figures you just put on your mom's credit card, you could be a student at one of the oldest commercial taxidermy schools in the Northwest.

You'll learn all three areas of the industry:  taxidermy, tanning, and advanced habitat. Think of the money you'll save by know how to tan in-house? It is a real pain giving your walrus carcass to the Fed-Ex guy without a lot of unnecessary explanation. And even if you flake out and never follow through on turning it into a paying gig, you could still be of use to your parents by ensuring that when Mr. Whiskers departs this earthly realm, his soft fur is preserved to stand alertly beside the fireplace, perfectly preserved by your wizardly taxidermy skills. Prepare to receive the acknowledgment you crave.
     

Girl Scout Cookie Earrings

 When it comes to Girls Scout cookies, you usually shovel those treats down your gullet like a suicidal diabetic. In addition to being a gluten for sweets, you're also a fashionable dessertista. Is that a word? I pray that doesn't catch on.

No you can take your love for Girl Scout cookies and combine them with your fashion with these cookie-scented pierced earring sets. Not only are they stylish, but that cookie smell will leave you hungry throughout the day. Choose from Thin Mint earrings with a bite taken out, or their button style Chocolate Stripe Cookie earrings. These aren't tacky. They're imported, and your purchase will help send a girl to camp. Plus, you can wear them with your Sexy Adult Girl Scout Cookie Girl Costume, a valuable tool for stirring the loins of your would-be-pederass of a boyfriend.