Confidence Shirts

Like all people who loathe their coworkers, you struggle to resist the urge to tell those lazy bastards what's exactly on your mind. It may be you're a coward, but it might also be your reluctance to receive a pink slip or be banished from the conversations around the water cooler. But thanks to Confidence Shirts, you can say exactly what's on your mind, but without anyone knowing. Their comfy T-shirts tell everyone off, while not showing through your work shirt. Sure, it's kind of passive aggressive, but so is muttering about them via chat with your friends in other offices.

Now you can announce your true feeling in a hushed tone with your clothes. Choose from statements like: How do you all have jobs? or everyone's favorite I think about farting on you all the time. Classics.

Confidence Shirts only offer a few options, but perhaps they'll consider adding the following...

• You're not sick; you're hungover.
• Get your own damn coffee!
• I will Tweet about your ineptitude!
• The next time you make a suggestive comment, I'm telling your wife.
• Brushing your teeth would help your breath.
• I'm the Secret Santa who gave you deodorant.
• I'm going to gauge your eyes out the next time you clip your nails at your desk.
• I know you're the one who pees on the toilet seat.
• Today's "doctor's appointment" is really a job interview. See ya!

Wrap-a-Nap

There's nothing like trying to sleep off a hangover at work. You tuck yourself into a stall, try to nap on the toilet, and then that fat guy from accounting comes in a drops a deuce in the next stall that sounds like Hiroshima. The reverberations immediately wake you, and you fight off your gag reflex as you scurry out of the stall in a panic. The only thing left to do is lock yourself in the room reserved for recent mothers using their breast pumps. Sure there's a light in that room, and the noise of any angry woman banging on the door, but you're sound asleep thanks to the Wrap-a-Nap (WAN).

Made with plush, minky fleece and squishy polyfill, the WAN's luxurious softness is complemented by extended Velcro™ fasteners that allow for wide variation in fit and pressure. Like earplugs, a sleeping mask, and pillow all rolled into one, this handy device lets you zonk out anywhere and sleep off last night's epic night.

Homeless? That sidewalk just got a lot more comfortable. Stuck on an airplane? Better hope the guy seated by the window went to the bathroom before he got on the plane because you're dead to the world. Whiplash? The WAN doubles as a neck brace. It's a glorious invention, especially for those trying to sleep off a hangover at work.