Squirrel Underpants

There’s one thing the squirrels in your neighborhood are low on and it's modesty. Regardless of the heat, you ensure when you leave the house you’re wearing pants, a long-sleeved shirt, and a hat. That’s what is required of the Amish and you’re a true believer. But those heathen squirrels… despite reading to them from the scripture they continue to prance around in the nude like a bunch of jay birds. It’s a sin. It’s unbecoming of a long-tailed rodent. And frankly, those well-endowed squirrels are making you a tad insecure.
So cover up all their naughty bits and enforce some modesty on these scandalous squirrels with squirrel underwear. It’s only $2.38, but imagine what it will do for neighborhood home values.  If only you could take your horse and buggy to pick them up.
Eight Other Reasons To Buy Squirrel Underpants

1. Squirrels need somewhere to store their nuts.
2. Snug fitting briefs cause lower sperm counts and the squirrels in your neighborhood could stand to limit their breeding.
3. Because it's funny how they squirm when you try to put a pair on them.
4. At your age, it's understandable you're too embarrassed to buy underwear for your Ken doll.
5. Because if the squirrel is going to live in the house, he's going to cover himself.
6. For fun, you enjoy dressing up the all the taxidermy at grandpa's house.
7. To leave a little something to the imagination.
8. Victoria Secret doesn't make anything for squirrels so this will have to do.