Outdoor Gnome Bowling

 You know who’s got a lot of nerve? Gnomes. They used to be reclusive little guys. Sure, sometimes they’d peek in through the bathroom window to watch you tinkle, but aside from that they mostly kept to themselves, foraged for grubs, and stole snacks out of the dog bowl.

But not anymore. Now those pesky pervs are everywhere, showing up in movies, shilling discount travel deals, posing as lawn art, and publishing books full of illustrations of them trying to pretend to be adorable. It’s time to put those little douches in their place and the best way to knock them down a peg is with a bowling ball.




Eight Other Reasons You Should Buy This Product

1. Because it's awesome.
2. Because bocce ball and croquet are pretentious. This will really irk the those smug europhiles at the park.
3. Your therapist thinks it will help you get over your fear of little people and men with beards.
4. Bowling is your life, but after that incident at Lucky Lanes you're not allowed within 500 yards of the place.
5. Because the gnome pins would make the perfect disguise for the landmines you want to install in the lawn to ward off the neighbor's marauding ferrets.  
6. Your gnome army needs more recruits if you're going to win the coming war against the smurfs!
7. To keep your children company when you're out getting drunk in the shed.
8. Malibu Barbie gets lonely and she has a thing for older men.