Uroclub

Before that prostate swelled to the size of a grapefruit, you could play 18 holes of golf without a trip to the clubhouse to relieve yourself. But now, after you've had your fifth beer by the ninth hole, your full bladder leaves you doing the pee pee dance as you're trying to sink that putt for double bogey.

Well, thanks to the Uroclub, you no longer have to choose between wetting your plaid golf pants or exposing yourself to other golfers. Thanks to the Uroclub, you simply place your penis in the hole at the top of the club, cover the whole unseemly operation with the towel, and do your business. Shaking off remains an issue, but the bulk of your bladder's contents will wind up securely in this specially-designed club. Enjoy sweet relief without being charged with indecent exposure.

You can use it yourself whenever you just can't bring yourself to use the bathroom like respectable members of society. And at $24.95, it's perfectly priced for the public urinator on your gift list.